


Funfair

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, M/M, Protective James Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:55:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4412894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a horrible month and just when James was sure it was going to end with him and Q on a sofa, watching a movie, things go further down south. And if James was generally cautious when it came to the young man, now that he had to babysit the 7-year old version of him, the agent was outright paranoid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive any and all mistakes and most of all, enjoy the story :)

There weren’t enough words in all the languages of the world, dead or otherwise, to describe just how horrible the entire month had been. The mission he had been sent on turned out to be much harder than anyone expected, filled with traitors who were all out of James’ blood and the only reason the agent managed to finish it despite losing all of his gadgets and official contact with MI6 was because Q was a wonderful, magnificent close friend who equipped him with extra things that he probably paid for from his own salary.

 

The young woman who presented herself as a victim to MI6 and begged for their help turned out to be the real mastermind, laughing in a cliché manner as she shot James in the heart and announcing that the Queen would kneel in front of her and that M would be her personal slave – really, that old woman had a habit of making the worst kind of enemies.

 

“My Quartermaster knows my luck better than anyone else on this planet,” James announced as he got up, dusting the bulletproof suit right before charging at his enemy and hitting her head as hard as he could against the control panel. “So he dresses me accordingly.”

 

“ _That has got to be your lamest line yet, Bond_. _It didn’t even make sense and it wasn’t funny at all,_ ” Q’s elegant voice drifted in his ear and it was so easy for James to imagine him rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

 

“Well, she’s passed out so you are my only critic. Did you manage to deal with the bombs at the embassy?” He stuffed the little Darth Vader USB stick in the main computer and started a program that was meant to copy absolutely everything before corrupting the original files. It might have been a co-op with the CIA, but if their agent was dead set on doing things his way and acting like he ran the whole thing, it wasn’t James’ fault if he got to the finish line after the prize got ruined.

 

“ _Hm, sadly all I could do was ensure that everyone was out of the building. I couldn’t get the bomb squad to move faster than they already were. No one died, but agent Powers will have a lot of explaining to do._ ”

 

That was his Q, always having his back and saving him from being chewed on by the evil accounting department when he could. “I so love it when you avenge me. We still on for that funfair when I get back? Or did I take too long again and we missed it?”

 

They weren’t in a relationship per se, but they sure acted like they were. They went on outings that might as well be called dates to all sort of restaurants, museums, plays and movies and they even shared kisses and touches through their clothes on some nights, although they never went beyond that.

 

It wasn’t that James didn’t want to have Q as his official lover, but he was too afraid that he’d do something so bad that he’d lose the young man even as a friend. So between having Q as a lover for a single night and screwing everything up the moment morning came and having Q as a friend until the day he mocked up a mission so bad that it killed him, he obviously chose the latter.

 

He didn’t know what Q wanted, although the man looked extremely sad after their kisses ended and James apologized profoundly for stepping over that invisible line. They had tried to talk about it a few times, but they were interrupted every time by either a mission or one of James’ old affairs plopping in his lap with either the intend to kill him or sleep with him.

 

“ _Ah, I am afraid that this time it is on me.”_ Q said in the most disappointed voice James had ever heard the man use. He sounded less upset when the agent told him he drove the brand new car off a ledge. “ _Or rather, Alec’s. He found something very interesting on his latest mission and I am supposed to figure out how it works what it does and make it work. Not in that exact order._ ”

 

Q with new technology that he didn’t create was the worst combination ever because, despite the young man’s almost obsession with ensuring the safety of others, he had no regard for his own safety. “I would prefer it if it were in that order, darling. I like my Q with all limbs and no other damage if possible.”

 

“ _And I like my 007 in the same way, but do I get that? No, I get him back bruised, shot and cut. You ruined my carpets the last time you came over._ ”

 

Everything evolved in a scolding session, James even muttering ‘yes darling’ and ‘I promise to not do it again’ at perfectly timed intervals which certainly had the minions who were listening in laughing themselves off their chairs and into certain night shifts.

 

But James also knew how to stop his Q, although it seemed to work only for him since when Alec tried it, he got stuck with testing the non-destructive gadgets for two months. “If I bring you Chinese, will it get me off of your bad side and on your sofa when I return? I think they’re still rebuilding my apartment after Alec dropped over unannounced and followed by half of the KGB.” It was a complete lie and both of them knew it, since Q had dropped by the refurnished flat to install the latest security system.

 

A little ‘hm’ sound had James picture Q with his head titled, tapping his chin. “ _Make my portion a double and you have yourself a deal. You’re still flying back in on economy class though. Accounting already has it in for me._ ”

 

James chuckled. “If they give you a hard time, I am a phone call away, my beloved Quartermaster.”

 

It was what they did, how they both relaxed without getting physical. Yes, it would have been so easy for James to simply pick up someone off the streets and get them between his sheets, but he found that pretending to be married to Q was much more effective than bedding a total stranger – okay, so James was head over heels for him by now and he couldn’t bring himself to sleep with someone else outside of a mission.

 

He was back on UK soil in less than six hours and still in a good mood despite the seven month old who cried right next to his ear. Yes, the month had been horrible, the mission had been hard, but everything would be over the moment he stepped in the MI6 building and entered Q branch.

 

Except it didn’t. He arrived in total chaos, people running around in a blind panic while M shouted on top of her lungs at everyone, a curious machine emitting an unhealthy amount of smoke right in the middle of Q’s laboratory.

 

And that wasn’t the strangest thing. No, the strangest thing was the seven year old, with brown wild hair that even surpassed Q’s, covered in only a lab coat, clutching to M’s hand so tightly that her hand was actually white. But the strangeness didn’t stop there. No; M’s hold on him was extremely light, careful as if she was afraid that if she squeezed back, she would crush his little arm.

 

James took a few steps closer, covering the boy in his shadow and causing him to suddenly turn around, revealing giant, shaking green eyes which where slowly filling with tears which looked exactly like Q’s. The man’s first thought was that his Quartermaster had kept the fact that he had a child until he noticed the little mole on his left cheek that was in the exact same place as Q’s.

 

He may not know genetics, but he knew the man like the back of his hand. “Q?!”

 

The child’s body shook as a sob left him and then another and when James fell on his knees and made to grab him, the young Q let out a loud wail and hid himself behind M, burying his face in her grey skirt, tears cascading down his little face.

 

In that moment, everyone froze and turned their heads to glare in James’ direction, M’s glare the harshest. “Now you made him cry.” She started to run her fingers through his hair in a very warm and maternal manner, trying to soothe him and get him to stop. “Q, I guarantee that he won’t be mad at you, so will you please stop crying?”

 

Little Q peeked over her legs, took one look at James’ still shocked expression and parted mouth, took a deep, shaky breath and went back in hiding, trying to cry silently. “He is! He is!”

 

“Well, would you like me to send Bond away?” The woman asked calmly in a sweet voice which James had never heard in his life before. “Will you stop crying if I did that?”

 

When James saw Q’s head bob up and down, he moved as fast as he could around the obvious lioness protecting her cub and carefully turned the child around to face him. “Q, why would you think I would be mad? I’m shocked and scared out of my mind right now, but not mad.”

 

Q rubbed at his eyes furiously, pulling on his coat to wipe his tears when that didn’t work, trying to stop enough to make sense. “You said…But I didn’t listen and now…” He dissolved in heart wrecking sobs and James picked him up in his arms, rubbing circles on his back to try to calm him down.

 

“No, no, Q, love, I promise I’m not mad you didn’t listen to me. I don’t listen to you and you still patch me up.” He tilted Q’s head up to show him that he was smiling, but it did nothing to stop the tears.

                                                        

“I’m mad when I do that!”

 

He was neutral towards kids. He didn’t hate them, he didn’t like them and sure as hell he didn’t care when they cried. When he was placed next to a crying child on the airplane because he had annoyed Q one way or another, he easily blocked them out, getting lost in his own thoughts. But the child who was crying right not was Q and James was panicking, - as was everyone else, M looking like she was ready to sell MI6 if that meant she could kill Bond without traumatizing the child - hands hovering around his little head as if he was really thinking about covering his mouth.

 

“I’m telling you that I’m not,” James said desperately, pushing the child close to his chest. “You are a curious person so of course I wasn’t really expecting you to listen to me.”

 

Now that was supposed to be the lowest point of his month, sitting in the middle of Q branch with a pint-sized Q crying his eyes out in his chest and covering his shirt in snot. But no, the Faiths decided that James needed to suffer some more so after a red eyed Q was dropped off in the arms of a glaring Eve, M called him to her office.

 

“If you say that this is all on me, I will waste all the ammo we currently have in this building on you.” M must have been a great spy in her youth because that was exactly what James was planning on saying. “As of right now, you will be Q’s bodyguard until this whole thing gets fixed.”

 

“You mean I get stuck with babysitting duty,” James said slowly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to take care of Q, but he honestly was the worst double oh when it came to missions that involved ensuring that the target stayed alive. Hell, Alec had a better track record when it came to that than him. What if he bumped into an old enemy and Q got hurt? What if his apartment was blown up while Q was sleeping or eating? Wait, what if he fed him poisoned food? What if he accidentally shot Q because he forgot he was in the house and he got spooked when he heard the little patter of feet on the wood? “You do it.”

 

“I have no idea why you think you can refuse missions, agent.” She slouched a bit in her chair, closing her eyes. “And I can’t take care of him because I’m have to go meet with the CIA heads and convince them that my Quartermaster and field agent did not work together to make their agents look bad on purpose.”

 

James huffed, crossing his hands over his chest. “That agent had it coming. He did nothing but make the bloody mission harder.” He was sure he saw M roll her eyes. “Bloody hell M, he’s a child. I don’t even have to try to break him half.”

 

The door moved a bit and both of them turned around with their weapons drawn, lowering them when they caught a glimpse of wide, scared green eyes. The door closed again and when James went outside, Eve was walking back inside the room with an orange juice for little Q who was pretending that he hadn’t been eavesdropping a few moments earlier.

 

It was clear by what Q had on that Eve bought them only after Q approved them. He had an interesting silver sweater with dark red horizontal stripes that looked like something someone would receive from their grandmothers on Christmas – he assumed – but those were the type of clothes Q liked. Well, at least the pants were simple, though the shoes with the pinkish laces made everything look interesting.

 

It was definitely a Q outfit, what could James say. The shopkeepers should really build the young genius a statue for having such unique and interesting tastes in clothes. Only Q could make them look cute and not induce a strong sense of nausea in people.

 

“Do be careful with him, Bond. And don’t try to pawn him off to someone,” M said before slamming the door behind him. Really, as if he’d trust anyone outside her, Alec, Eve or Tanner with Q.

 

Okay, maybe not Alec since he could easily picture the both of them teaming up to test explosive and accidentally blow up London. Or Eve. The woman would smother him because of how cute he looked – not that James had an easy time not hugging him to his chest. And he realized that M wasn’t the best choice for Q’s mental health. He knew the woman had children, but heck if he knew how they managed not to die of fear.

 

Now Tanner… was a danger to himself. He trusted his wife with Q since she was an excellent and a fierce protector of her own children, but not Tanner due to how much of a total klutz he was around children – he had almost dropped his new-born boy because he was shaking too much in fear at the possibility of dropping him.

 

The problem with that plan was that they were all away on a well-deserved and poorly timed family vacation. In Hawaii. He could use his own money and fly both of them there, but the thought of Q in tears crushed his heart, so that was out of the question.

 

“Come on, Q. Let’s go home.” The weak nod he got was definitely not a good sign.

 

Now, there was only so much bad luck a person could have, right? Wrong. James had been driven to MI6 by one of the agency’s cars and by some horrible alignment of the stars, they were all currently in use. And he couldn’t hail a cab even if he waved around a thick stack of money at them – which he did. Twice.

 

“Looks like we’re taking the tube. Want me to carry you?” He kneeled in front of Q and opened his arms, expecting for the child to throw himself in his arms.

 

But Q didn’t. He puffed his little cheeks in a way that made James let out the tiniest sound which only dogs could pick up and clutched tighter to the little backpack Eve had bought for him to carry his wallet and phone. “I can walk by myself.”

 

Sulky voice was not a good sign. When Q was upset – because the quartermaster never sulked, as the man himself informed him when James made the horrible mistake of saying he was – a warm cup of tea helped a lot. But he had a feeling that black tea might make him hyperactive. Maybe milk would make him feel better? Or orange juice since he seemed happy to drink the one Eve got him while waiting for James to do his bag for him – he was really scowling, upset that the agent didn’t let him do it himself, but he still drank the entire bottle.

 

“James, let’s go to the funfair. We both have time now and we’d get a discount because I’m like this.” Q said suddenly, turning to look at him with hopeful eyes.

 

Too many people there that might snatch Q from him without actually knowing who Q was just to hurt him. “No, it’s too dangerous. We’re going home where I’ll make you a warm cup of milk and then we’re both going to bed.” Q deflated some more, but said nothing more on the subject.

 

When they reached a crosswalk, James extended his hand and waited for Q to give him his, but the child slapped it away and made to cross on his own. But James wouldn’t have it and he grabbed Q’s hand, starting to drag the child after him, waving through the large crowd, growling at the people who got too close to his precious cargo.

 

“I said I can walk on my own! And you’re going too fast! You have the steps of a giant!” Q protested, digging his heels in the ground to try to make the man stop. “James, I’m going to trip if you don’t stop!”

 

James sent him an apologetic look as he slowed down to something he considered feet dragging, but did not release him. “The city is big, you’re extremely small and I don’t want to lose you in this crowd. I’ll walk slower, but you’re not getting your hand back until we’re home.”

 

It turned out that holding on to the tiny man was a good idea since Q’s attention span had become virtually non-existent. He got distracted by every shop’s window and tried to get James to walk closer, but the agent refused. He had to get his quartermaster in the safety of his apartment walls where he would lock both of them up until whatever Q did wore off or his hardworking minions found a way to reverse it.

 

By the time they got to the tube station, Q looked ready to cry again and James promised himself that he’d make the boy tea instead of milk and have Eve buy an entire chocolate store and toy department for him. And once he became an adult again, he’d somehow manage to get him a few months off and travel around Europe to visit every funfair they could find.

 

The subway ride in the middle of rush hour was even worse than he remembered, although having Q glued to his foot made him feel a bit better. When a man accidentally hit the child with his briefcase, James decided to completely ignore Q’s earlier refusal of being carried and picked him up, the child instantly wrapping his arms around his neck, muttering his gratitude.

 

A few women cooed at that, blushing when James winked in their general direction. One in particular wiggled her way over to him and started to outright flirt with him after making sure that he had no wedding band or tan from one, complimenting him on how protective he was of his son.

 

“He’s not my son,” James instantly corrected her, feeling Q trying to turn around. “I am babysitting for a very close friend until he comes back from his…business trip.” He lovingly patted Q’s back, flinching when a tiny foot connected with his stomach.

 

“Oh! Oh, I am sorry. Well he doesn’t look like you at all, but I figured it would hurt if I pointed that out.” Another kick from Q accompanied by a giggle from the woman. “So what do you say about the two of us catching a movie after your friend picks up his darling little boy? I like scary movies the most.”

 

She slipped a piece of paper with her name and phone number in his jacket, disappearing with a large part of the crowd before he could turn her down. He chuckled and patted Q again, setting him down after the cart had cleared out. Rush hours went completely over his head, but at least he wouldn’t have to be in a constant fear of someone stabbing his young charge without him noticing it in time to stop it for the last five stations.

 

A tug on his arm got his attention instantly. “James, if the funfair is out of the question, can we go see that movie?” Q asked, pointing excitedly at a poster. “There’s a cinema a station away from your house.”

 

Cinema. Dark. Loud during most of the scenes. Perfect place to kill someone. “My TV screen is big, you’re small. I’ll just order whatever movie you want, close the curtains, pop some popcorn and we can both pretend that we’re in a cinema.”

 

“But I really wanted to see that one, remember? You said we’d go after the funfair,” he muttered dejectedly, looking at his shoes. “Then can we at least visit a museum? I promise I won’t make you look at old ships anymore.” Q’s lip was already quivering, but James missed that since he was too busy working himself into an early heart attack by imagining something falling and crushing the centre of his universe.

 

“No, but I do have an Oculus and I am sure we can find you a virtual tour of a museum online or something.” He ruffles Q’s hair, smiling.

 

Q made a sound that resembled a hiccup, but James knew better. He was instantly on his knees, uncaring that he was ruining his expensive pants, trying to figure out a way to stop the crying. His heart couldn’t take the stream of tears especially since he was obviously to blame for them.

 

“You are horrible and I hate you!” Q yelled, pushing James away from him, managing to jump out of the cart just as the doors were closing behind him.

 

That did not just happen, everything was a nightmare, he had been knocked out by one of his enemies because he sure as hell did not just upset his Quartermaster to the point where he announced his hate for him and dashed.

 

It was only a fracture of a second, but James was still frozen in shock, the jolt from the subway starting to move snapping him out. “No, no! Q! Please come back!” He was banging and kicking on the doors, yelling at the conductor to stop.

 

Someone pulled the emergency brakes and James was helped by the other people to pull open the doors, the agent running a few meters before grabbing a person and asking them if they’ve seen in what direction a little seven year old boy, with brown hair and dressed in a striped sweater.

 

When no one gave him a straight answer, James pulled out his phone and called Eve. “I lost Q! He kept asking to go to places especially after the woman gave me her phone number, but I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him so I said no and he started crying and said that he hated me and then the doors closed and Eve I can’t find him!” His head was spinning and he felt himself get more angry with every second that passed in which Q wasn’t in his line of sight.

 

_“What? James, slow down. What woman? I don’t really understand you.”_

 

He couldn’t deal with how he felt. He was a double oh agent. He didn’t panic this bad when he was seconds away from dying. But right now he couldn’t breathe properly and he couldn’t think of anything else but the horrible things that could happen to child Q. Hit by a car, hit by a train, kidnapped, beaten, shot, knifed—

“I can’t find my Q! Help me find my Q! I want my Q!” James yelled in his phone, almost punching a security guard when the man touched his back. “Don’t come near me unless you have my seven year old Quartermaster with you!”

 

“ _Bond, calm down! You lost Q? I’m getting his branch on it and sending Alec over to you,”_ Eve said in the calmest voice she could muster, keeping the connection with the agent on to try and calm him down in case he really snapped.

 

The security guards helped the man sit down, one of them giving him a bottle of water while asking what his son looked like. James’ brain still worked enough to know that he shouldn’t correct them, so he bit his tongue before giving a description, the whole world moving both slow and fast at the same time.

 

“Q, he answers to Q and if you dare question the name, I will snap your necks.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate the heat and the heat hates my muse. Also, a moment of silence for medicine.
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos <3
> 
> As usual, please ignore any and all mistakes and most importantly, enjoy~

He had been a very emotional child and when he was de-aged, it became nay impossible for him to control his reactions. He didn’t mean to start crying when he saw James, but the thought of the man being upset with him simply broke the tear damn, flooding his face. Nor did he mean to openly show his jealousy towards the woman, but when he saw that the agent refused to go anywhere in public with _him_ , he blew up.

 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, there was his adult version’s voice, berating him for acting like his age and outright scolding him for treating James the way he did. They weren’t an item so the man had no reason to turn down any date. If he wanted to go out with the woman and see a movie, than Q should have bitten his quivering lips, rubbed the tears from his eyes and try to cause as little trouble for the agent as he could.

 

But his emotions were much stronger than his logic, so he listened to the first idea that popped into his head and ran as hard as he could from James. If the man didn’t want to do anything fun with him when they both had time and were even forced to spend it together on MI6’s payroll, than he was going to go out and fun by himself. Let James call his woman and watch stupid movies with her, he told himself as he pushed forward through the large and scary crowd.

 

His memory was mostly intact, despite his sudden young age. He couldn’t remember how to finish complex coding sequences – or any sequences, for that matter – and when he stopped to look at a fancy car, he couldn’t think of any feasible ways of updating it. But he still remembered how to get to the places he wanted and most importantly, how to use an ATM

 

“Ugh, did they have to put them so up high?” Q grumbled, standing on his tiptoes as he tried to push the card in the machine. At least the keypad had indentations in it so he could feel around for the numbers he needed to push.

 

He still couldn’t waste too much time since his minions were probably trying to track him down and the usage of his card would instantly reveal his location. But the more pressing manner were the two police officers who slowly making their way towards him, huge smiles that wanted to look calming doing the exact opposite.

 

“Little boy, are you lost? Where are your parents? Is that their card?”

 

Q bolted instantly, zigzagging through the massive crowd and ducking down dark allies, hiding behind a garbage bin until he was really sure that he wasn’t being followed by the police officers anymore.

 

A huge cat jumped out from the darkness, scaring Q and causing him to lose his balance and fall, bumping his head against the concrete as well as scratch his palm. It hissed at him before running away and the young child was in tears by this point.

 

It took him a good fifteen minutes to calm himself down and five more to make up a proper plan of attack before he finally left the disgustingly smelling alley. He could do this, he told himself. He was the MI6 Quartermaster and if he could listen in on his agents almost getting killed without getting a heart attack, he could walk around the huge city without being scared.

 

He bought a hoodie from a store so he could avoid being seen by any of his minions who might be checking the security footage just because the day was boring, perfectly playing the card of a young child who had been allowed by the parents who were right outside to pay for his first purchase ever!

 

“Oh, that is so cute and you are such a clever boy! Knowing how to count already and everything,” the shopkeeper said, leaning over the counter to pinch his cheeks. “Now be careful with the change I gave you, sweetie.”

 

Q smiled in her direction until another costumer demanded her attention, rubbing his cheeks with a sour look. He had forgotten that at this age, everyone deemed his cheeks the perfect things to pinch and he couldn’t wait to go back to his normal age.

 

Head and face now properly hidden from the CCTV, Q made his way to a cinema, bent on doing the things he had wanted to do with James on his own. He was tempted to check his phone to see where the closest one was, but he knew that the moment he turned it on, his smart minions would pinpoint his exact location and he would be dragged and locked in a room until he was fixed.

 

The one close to James’ apartment was out of the question just in case the agent realized that he was even more stubborn as a seven year old and was waiting for him just outside of it. So the only logical and safe thing left for him to do was ride a bus to the middle of London and look for a cinema there.

 

People looked at him strangely, a couple of elders even asking him how old he was, where his parents were and if they knew he was out on his own and bless them for being so worried about a scrawny looking child with eyes still slightly puffy and red, but he really only wanted to be left alone.

 

He ended up having to change three busses to get to a cinema because of the worried looks he attracted, but he did eventually reached his goal and he sighed in relief and actually offered the man behind the counter a real smile as he asked for a ticket.

 

“Did you run away from home?” The man asked instead of telling Q how much he was supposed to pay, nervously looking around, begging the stars for someone to suddenly walk up to him and say that the child was theirs. “I can’t let you into this movie without your parents, you know. Are they here? Can I talk to them?”

 

Q realized his mistake that moment and when he took a step back, he bumped into the place’s security guard, the white haired man with a kind smile putting his hands on his shoulders to keep him from running. “It is okay, little boy. No one wants to hurt you. Now, where are your parents?”

 

“In the same place they have always been,” Q replied, glaring as hard as he could and realizing that it failed to intimidate the man.

 

It did, however, make the man smile and loosen his hold on him to ruffle his hair, completely dropping his guard and giving Q the perfect opportunity to escape. He was almost caught again by a couple of adults who had heard the guard’s yells for him to stop, but he avoided their arms in the nick of time, quickly disappearing down the streets.

 

Museums were out of the question since if he failed entering a cinema which was staffed with employees who did their homework between customers, a place filled with security cameras and actual security guards was the perfect place to get caught. Plus, he actually wanted to visit one with James, but it turned out that the agent didn’t really want to spend time with him; he was a chore, that one extra mission all double oh agents hated.

 

He hoped that the way he was seeing things was because of how young he’d suddenly become, since the man had always seemed eager to crash in his apartment and waste what free time he had with him and Alec. But it still hurt and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that the kisses and touches they shared had almost always been post mission, when James was still high on adrenaline.

 

They had to be at least friends, right? James almost always brought him interesting things back from his missions and he was generally helpful when Q needed him to be – he built that blasted IKEA bookcase with Alec’s help, although at one point he did grab the instructions from Q and shoved them down the other agent’s throat. So yes, they were friends.

 

James simply didn’t want to be burdened with taking care of a child, even if that child was him. Again, the man had just returned from a long and dangerous mission and being forced to take care of a child who cried so loudly was unwanted. Why didn’t M simply keep him in MI6 was beyond him – okay, so he actually threatened the woman that he would run away through the tunnel system if she even thought about locking him up, but he really wouldn’t have!

 

No, if he continued to think like this, he was going to start crying again and even if he was just seven, he had cried more than a boy should have. He needed to make his way to the funfair, have fun and then sneak back to MI6 and sleep in his office. How exactly he would reach the deepest and most protected are of the spy agency was something to pounder on after he had at least a little bit of fun.

 

***

 

Alec was one of the two people who could instantly calm James down. Q was the other person, although when it came to him, James only needed to hear his voice to revert back to his easy going self, whilst Alec always used his fists.

 

“So, just to be sure I got everything right: your inability to properly talk with someone is the reason why Q, the man who was feeble even before being turned into a kid, is walking around completely alone in jolly old London?” Alec let out a string of cusses in his mother language the instant James nodded.

 

“And he also heard me being reluctant to watch over him,” James admitted, rubbing his face and fisting his hands in his short hair, tugging on it. Perhaps Alec would have been a better choice after all, London be damned.

 

At least Eve was a goddess at what she did, managing to dispatch a few double oh agents alongside regular ones to search through as many theatres that had the movie Q was interested in without M catching on.

 

Q branch also proved that they were extremely good at multitasking despite most of them looking like a set of nice, shiny keys could distract them. And yet there they were, keeping an eye on important missions, a hand in the mechanism that ‘uninstalled’ a lot of years from their beloved Overlord and the other eye on the program tasked with finding even the smallest trace of Q.

 

When they heard that he had emptied out one of his cards and then ducked in places where there were no CCTV, both James and Alec couldn’t help but feel a little bit proud of how smart the seven year old was. They would have applauded him if he was trying to dodge actual villains instead of them.

 

“Although you are the bad guy as far as he’s concerned,” Alec said, smacking James over the back of his head again. “Anyway, R said she couldn’t find any reports of a seven your old walking on his own in a museum, so any idea where he might really be?”

 

James’ eyes suddenly widened and he wanted to kick himself for not thinking about that place earlier. “He’s got to be at that funfair.” The cold sliver of fear sneaked back into his heart and down his spine. Q, who barely reached his knee at this age – he must have gone through a heck of a grow spurt – was currently in a place packed full with people who weren’t looking where they were going and who might trample him.

 

Alec started to snap his fingers in front of him, trying to distract him from his thoughts. “If you ever have children, you know like adopt or suddenly find out you have an entire army of them all over the world which wouldn’t surprise me at all and would also make me 500 pounds richer, I think you’ll try to child-proof all of London.”

 

They reached the funfair in record time, James driving more like a maniac that usual which had even Alec wearing his seatbelt and going over all the cusses he knew and also thanks to Q branch, who made sure that there was no red light to slow the agent down.

 

The funfair ground was enormous, filled with screeching children that ran from one stand to another, their exhausted parents running after them with their arms held in front of them, trying to stop them from falling and hurting themselves. It was overwhelming and even Alec had a moment in which he looked desperately around, running a hand through his hair.

 

“Okay, Q’s current height might be on our side,” James said, eyeing a rather horrifying clown drawing that showed how tall someone had to be to go on that ride. “He’s small for his age, so we can ignore all of the big rides. I think we can also ignore the rides that tend to single people out because it would be obvious he’s here on his own and he’d be dragged to the security office.”

 

But that still left them with a huge amount of ground to cover and with a possible disguised Q sneaking around and trying to avoid them, or to be more exact, James. Or maybe, if he bumped into one of the other agent’s first, he’d ask them to take him back to MI6 and then M would take him from his case before he could explain why he acted the way he did.

 

“Hey, isn’t that him?” Alec asked, pointing to child who was standing out because of how well behaved he was, keeping his head low and hovering near adults who seemed to have no idea that he was behind them.

 

James was next to the child instantly, turning him around and pulling down the hood, the sweet sense of relief instantly filling him. “Q, I was so worried.” He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close to his chest, completely hiding him from the world. “We’ll do everything and anything you want, just don’t say you hate me.”

 

“How did you know I would be here? And aren’t you supposed to be on a date? Did M find out you lost me and sent you to get me back or else she was going to castrate you?” Q asked trying to sound uncaring that the agent was there, although the little hands that fisted themselves in his expensive jacket showed the exact opposite.

 

James chuckled, moving back a bit to kiss Q on his forehead. He was an utterly adorable child, in his opinion and the idea of _accidentally_ getting that machine used on him easily snuck in his mind. Hey, if it turned out that the effects were permanent and Q would have to relive his childhood, he couldn’t force him see him grow old and die. It simply wouldn’t be fair to him.

 

“I remembered that you looked the saddest when I said we couldn’t go here. And I care too much to need to be ordered to look for you by M. I’ll always come look for you, even if I am ordered otherwise.” he explained softly, finally feeling all the tension and fear leave his body and mind. Q was safe, in his arms; upset and confused, but safe.

 

“Again, what about your date with the woman? I know you just finished a mission and you’d prefer her company with her over mine,” Q muttered, hiding his face even more in James’ chest, the man realizing he was trying to keep the fact that he was blushing away from him only to be given away by how red the tips of his ears were.

 

Oh, he was jealous. Little Q was jealous that a woman had hit on him. That was teeth rotting adorable. Wait, did that apply to older Q? He did look sad when their impromptu make out sessions ended and James had thought about asking him if he wanted _something_ , anything, but he never really got around to it – or, actually, avoided it like hell because he was happy with Q as a friend and the thought of the man pulling away from him if he wasn’t interested was horrible.

 

And then it struck him that the young man had been forced by his position as the Quartermaster to listen in on the agent do things and he didn’t know why it took him so long to realize this. He couldn’t avoid sleeping with all of his targets, but there had been some which would have spilled their guts without a quick and usually intense roll in the bed.

 

“Right now I only feel the need to protect you and nothing more. But when it comes to your adult version, well that is another story,” James said softly, kissing the top of his head. “We should talk about this when you return to normal and my feelings do the same, okay? It’s going to be really awkward if I am forced to have that kind of conversation with a seven-year-old.”

 

“Not to mention illegal,” Alec chimed in, holding a balloon in front of Q. “This made me think of you, Quartermaster. Also, it is a lame apology because it was the thing I found that got you in this mess in the first place.” He waited for the boy to extend his hand and tied the balloon with a little bow around it.

 

Q pulled it close, frowning a little. “A brown kitty with green eyes?” He patted James’ shoulder, waiting to be put down and grabbing the edge of his coat to ensure him that he wasn’t going to run from them turned to glare at Alec. “Are you calling your Quartermaster a cat, agent?”

 

Alec kneeled in front of him, tapping his nose. “Not a cat, no. I am calling him adorable kitten that has given the double oh agent that is probably a hybrid between a pit bull, a German Sheppard, and a Rottweiler a taste of his own medicine when he suddenly disappeared.” He pinched Q’s cheeks before James pushed him away.

 

“What is it with you people and my cheeks? James, if you do it, I will ban you from my apartment,” Q said, tugging on the man’s jacket to get him to look at him.

 

“It’s going to be hard, but I will do my best. Now how about we get back at Alec with the help of bumper cars?”

 

It was cheating, as far as Alec was concerned, that Q got to share a car with James. The kid turned his big, green eyes on him moments before the impact, knowing fully well that Alec wouldn’t dare to cause any harm to the man who spent most of his time saving his ass from certain death.

 

“Can I get the pipsqueak in my car for at least one round?” Alec whined, sticking his tongue out at Q when the kid shook his head and clung to James’ arm.

 

Things did even out a bit when the other agents joined them – and they didn’t go home after Alec had told them that everything was okay partially because they did not fully trust James to not do something stupid again and upset little Q and mostly because the boy caught a glimpse of them and waved them over – and that was thanks to 004 asking Q if he wanted something to it, whisking him away which allowed for everyone to attack James’ car as hard as they could for one minute.

 

When everyone joined Q on his extremely late lunch, it created a strange picture: a little boy sitting between ten men and women all dressed in expensive suits, presenting the young child with all sort of strange looking food that they had tasted and deemed worthy of him.

 

They walked around for a bit after that, Q between James and Alec, getting more and more balloons tied to his hands to the point where 004 worried that he might eventually take off if they are not careful enough. That, of course, made both Q and Alec curious about how many they would need for that to actually happen, confirming James’ suspicions that if those two were left alone, bad things would happen.

 

Thankfully, all James had to do was softly shake his head in the direction of the vendor, as well as a crisp 50 pound note for the man to inform Alec and Q that he wasn’t allowed to sell them more balloons. “If one pops, then I can sell you a new one, little boy. But until that happens, I am afraid that those are all the balloons you can have at the same time.”

 

But no one said anything about how many stuffed animals Q could have so a sort of unofficial contest between the double oh agents began to see who could win him the most ones that were also cute and huge. But Q also wanted his hand at the games, despite the fact that he was so short, he could barely see over the counters.

 

James fixed that little problem by sitting on his knees and holding Q on his shoulders, instructing him what to do. “Steady the gun with your non-dominant hand now, Q. Align both of your thumbs for support and accuracy.”

 

Q looked up at Alec to see if he was doing it properly, the agent flashing him a huge smile and giving him thumbs up. “Your stance is important, but you’re on James’ shoulders, so we’ll just focus on your arms.”

 

The other agents gave him tips about his aim, the line behind them getting so big that the man who took care of the stand snapped and asked them to move faster. The reply he got was angry glares and a few bills thrown at his head, immediately shutting him up.

 

“Now take a deep breath and squeeze the trigger,” James said and Q did as he was told, the mark going down – although the way the double oh were behaving behind him hinted at the fact that they had all used their real weapons to make sure the child succeeded.

 

The merry-go-round was also more entertaining than they would have thought as was everything else – although Q wasn’t allowed to go on the rollercoaster and a couple of more exciting rides due to his height even if he had so many adults with him. Q tried his best not to look disappointed, but there was no way he could hide his emotions or state of mind when he was surrounded by so many spies.

 

“We’ll come back when you’re an adult again,” James promised. “And if they’re gone by that time, we’ll take a little bit of time off and go after them.”

 

“Or I can find you guys better ones across the world in case you can’t take time off and you equip your agents with James as your bodyguard,” Alec offered, kneeling in front of Q to pat his head – he had read somewhere when he was getting extremely bored during a mission that it was best to be on the same height as a child if you wanted to get your point across.

 

Q perked up a bit at that. “And you can join us and see how many balloons we’d need to make a full grown man float!”

 

Alec grinned, high fiving Q. “You, my little Quartermaster, have yourself a deal. Maybe you’ll even get MI6 to pay for everything if you claim you’re experimenting for future field equipment.”

                                                                                                          

“Alec, stop teaching my Q bad things,” James stepped in, pushing his friend away. “We can afford buying balloons. You’ll simply have to stop buying expensive alcohol for your target practice, Alec.”

 

Alec wrapped his arms around the little boy and pulled him to his chest, resting his head on top of his. “Oh, _your_ Q? I think he’s _our_ Q now. And how about you start being a little fair to me and we pay for the balloons out of the money we’d all save if you stopped crashing the cars Q gives you?”

 

“Let’s go to the haunted house before they close!” Q intervened before everything could escalate, the other double ohs sighing in relief in the background. Trevelyan and Bond might have been the best of friends, but even their mock fighting brought about a lot of damage and bruises, especially for anyone who tried to get between them – maybe Q was an exception, especially a child Q, but no one wanted to test that out.

 

The haunted house was fun for James the most since, two steps in it, Q tugged on his jacket asking to be picked up only to immediately fall asleep on him. It wasn’t so much fun for the employees, one of them ending up with a broken nose for rushing unexpectedly towards the large crowd or trained assassins with the intent of scaring them.

 

“So sorry about that one,” agent 004 was saying as they were shown out of the ride by two large security guards. “But you were a pretty convincing zombie and I panicked. Here, take this card, call that number and they will take care of all your medical expenses without a single question.”

 

They stuffed Alec’s car with the toys they had won for Q, tying the balloons to the car’s spoiler, carefully ruffling the sleeping quartermaster’s hair and even kissing his forehead, threatening James to come after him if they ever heard that the child was in tears because of him.

 

“And that applies to the adult version of Q as well,” 004 added, cracking her knuckles. “And you know I specialize in torture and I promise that I will at least chop up one of your limbs before you take me out.” She elbowed a grinning Alec on her way to her car, adding that it went double for him.

 

“Sure, you make him cry and run away and I get the elbow in my bruised rib. Typical,” Alec grumbled, starting up the car. “I’m crashing on your sofa since my apartment flooded with fire.”

 

James’ phone rang before he could question Alec how on earth he had managed to do that, an overly worried R demanding that they instantly return to MI6 with Q. Apparently, the lab rats they had tested the machine on started to return back to their original ages, only that didn’t end right for them.

 

“ _We don’t know why, but it takes longer for the internal organs to revert back to normal, but we can get around that as long as we have machines doing their job. Everything starts with a fever, so if the quartermaster is burning up, get here as fast as you can.”_

 

A quick check revealed that Q was warm to the touch and James only managed to let out a strangled noise which Alec understood. They reached MI6 in record time, even managing to lose the cops that were chasing them and to avoid causing any serious accidents.

 

Q was hooked up to machines just in time for the first heart wrenching scream to leave his lips and both agents were ordered to hold the other man down as his bones cracked, his body already starting to change. James was trying to calm him down, whispering that the pain would soon disappear despite someone telling him that Q wasn’t really hearing him.

 

“Is he in your way, doctor?” Eve asked, her shaky voice giving away the fact that she was scared. “Because if he is not, then do your bloody job and the let _licensed_ killer calm himself down by reciting the whole bloody dictionary if it keeps him from strangling you in case he gets the idea that _you_ are causing the Quartermaster pain.”

 

It took seven hours until Q fully returned to normal and by that time they had taken so many x-rays and the doctors stuffed him in the MRI so many times that James was afraid he would start to glow in the dark.

 

Q managed to be whiter than the sheets he was laying on, big and dark bags under his eyes making him look like someone had punched him in the face. He was still hooked to IVs that fed him whatever cocktail of vitamins he needed as well as a heart monitor to ensure that the organ was truly working properly.

 

Both agents were allowed to remain by his side for an undetermined amount of time since the Medical section of MI6 didn’t really have visiting hours. And really, even if it did, no one would have had the guts to walk up to the two double ohs that watched the sleeping man like guard dogs and demand that they left the premises.

 

Even the tempting offer of destroying the machine that had done this to Q didn’t get either of them to move. It only made James’ hold on Q’s hand to tighten while Alec’s eyes narrowed, a flow of Russian words that couldn’t be anything but cusses leaving his mouth.

 

“The R and the rest of Q branch will deal with it,” M whispered, her cold and unvarying mask cracking for a single second when her eyes landed on Q’s fragile, sleeping form. “I can’t believe that this bloody, foolish, stubborn child is on my payroll.”

 

No one in MI6 would miss the miracle machine. It was, in fact extremely dangerous and just one more reason for the Quartermaster to be kidnapped since no one had a doubt in their minds that the young man could tweak the obvious bugs it had and turn it into an actual fountain of youth.

 

Although it would have been fun and interesting if all three of them got to relieve their childhood, James wondering who would have been their caretaker. M would probably get stuck with them in her house, being aided by everyone in the MI to raise them and she would need all the help she could get.

 

Alec would probably destroy every glass thing in her house in the first two days while Q took apart every electrical object that fell in his little hands, frustrated that he couldn’t quite put them back together and make them better.

 

They would all share a room despite M getting them individual ones, that was for sure. Q’d probably be the first one to sneak out of his, Alec following soon afterwards only because he hated being left out of the fun.

 

James realized that he was asleep only when he felt someone’s fingers brush through his hair and heard Alec talking in hushed tones, cracking one eye open to see Q illuminated by the powerful glow of a phone, making him look like a ghost which caused James’ heart to drop to his stomach for a moment.

 

“I can’t say I remember anything after getting hit but the ray, but I am happy you have pictures of the fun time we seemingly had and I will be more than grateful if you’d send them to me.” He closed his eyes and sighed as Alec took his glasses of, the hand in James’ hair stopping its pleasant ministration. “I will, of course, have to find a way to thank everyone for taking care of my immature younger self as well as doing something extra for you and especially Bond because of the heart attack I almost gave him.”

 

James cleared his throat, startling Q a little. “I am not old enough to heave a heart attack, Quartermaster, but I will be most grateful to you if you never run away from me.” He took Q’s hand before the man could fully pull away from him, kissing the tips of his fingers. “That goes double for you experimenting on yourself. No matter how utterly adorable a younger you is, I prefer the normal one. No, not just prefer. Adore. Worship. Love.”

 

The blush that covered Q’s face made him look healthier. “If you must know, I did not experiment on myself. Johnson, who has just started working with us, had headphones on for some reason and did not hear the warning. I rushed to push him out of the way and that is when I got hit, Bond.”

 

“I am sort of declaring my undying love for you over here, Q. I think you can start calling me James. Unless you’re not interested and I read everything wrong.” He started to pull away but the exhausted man moved fast and weakly wrapped his arms around him, Alec sneaking away to prepare a little unpleasant surprise for Johnson to teach him why following Q’s rules was important.

 

“No, no, you read it right. I’m very interested and if you’d move a bit closer to me, maybe I can even covey just how much…” Q trailed off, his eyes closing when James lips rested over his.

 

It wasn’t at all like in the past, hungry and needy, hot and urgent. Their tongues didn’t wrestle against each other before Q eventually gave in and allowed James to take over, the man getting lost in the smell of ink mixed with explosive the young man exuded. Nor did he taste his normally sweet way with just a hint of something spicy from whatever new mix of exotic teas he had tried that day.

 

No, it was klutzy and slow in the sense that Q had to force his mind to do it, James observing the deep frown the man had instead of the serene and happy expression he usually wore when they kissed. He also stated like a cocktail of pills the agent was usually forced to take after a mission and the inside of his mouth was dry.

 

But James didn’t pull back until his lover’s started to have trouble breathing, the heart monitor starting to beep disturbingly erratic. And not a second later, a nurse pushed the door open, worried eyes moving from one machine to another before falling on an embarrassed Q, apologizing before she left them to their privacy.

 

James helped Q drink a bit of water, cupping his face afterwards to make sure they had eye contact. “We’ll continue this when I don’t literally suck the life out of you, love. I don’t think they’ll let me stay if your heart monitor goes crazy again.”

 

Q gave him a weak smile and scooped over to make room for his lover, James practically jumping in next to him, throwing his tie and jacket away. He waited for the man to find his spot before making sure that he was properly covered, placing a soft kiss against Q’s temple before wrapping himself around him like a giant octopus.

 

Alec sneaked back inside the room half an hour later, looking extremely pleased with himself. He almost cooed at the scene that greeted him, but bit his fist to keep himself from waking either of the two men up, taking a couple of pictures before settling in on a chair next to them, willing himself to sleep. He wouldn’t blackmail or tease the two would them, but keep them a secret, something to look at when his longing for normality and safety got too much for him.

 

He was startled when he felt a thin finger point his side, dark thoughts chased away by Q whispering his name while the curious blue eyes of James were on him. “Yes? Do you need water? A nurse? Do you want me to call a doctor? Did James have one too many hotdogs and he’s crushing you with his weight?” He would have been at the door by his last question if it weren’t for Q’s frail grasp on his shirt.

 

“I’m good, don’t worry.” He let go of Alec when he felt him relax, resting his hand back on top of James’. “I just remembered something and I wanted to make sure that you’re still joining us on our vacation.”

 

Very thoughtful of Q and wonderful that he remembered, but would that really be appropriate? “Ah, well you sort of seven when—“

 

“Alec, you’re not actually going to crush the heart of _your_ , no, _our_ favourite Quartermaster, are you?” James intervened, both men trapping his hand in theirs.

 

“We did have a deal, you know.” From the moment he made eye contact with Q, he knew he was defeated, the man playing just as dirty as they usually did. Not that he actually wanted to win this one, both men clearly more than happy to have him tag along in their vacation.

 

“This is the bumper cars all over again, I swear. You two, ganging up against innocent me and cornering me.” He felt Q start to pull his hand away and mentally kicked himself. “But! I like it when you do that and I may do a lot of things, but going back on my word that I gave to an adorable squirt is not on that huge list.”

 

A fond smile, a light squeeze of hands and everyone was asleep in minutes, Alec’s head resting against Q’s while, uncaring that his back would suffer in the morning due to the unnatural position he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can be seen as just one-sided or mutual, a couple on vacation with a really close friend or just a couple on vacation. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I do hope you enjoyed.

**Author's Note:**

> I had it all done. I was ready to post it and then the new trailer happened and I just couldn't write the adult versions fighting (especially since James was accusing Q of betraying him; ah well, we'll put that idea back in storage). 
> 
> Comments and kudos are love <3


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